A Seal and His Octopus

A seal swims up to a kayaker somewhere in New Zealand and cracks the guy in the head with an octopus. I mean really WHIPS that cephalopod at him. The seal did it with intent and seemed to have been making a statement. If you haven’t seen the video, click this link:                             0:31 Watch later                  

This is my top five list of what that seal was saying—had he the ability to speak—when he did this.

5) “Here, take this, these things taste like shit.”

4) “Fuck off you trespassing asshole, and count yourself lucky I couldn’t find a puffer fish.”

3) “Tag, you’re it!”

2) “Frank here wants a ride, can you take him around the island?”

1) “Hey, pal, want a big bag of suckers?”

Written by Logan Skulli way past his bedtime